


In which Iwa-chan plays real-life Neko Atsume

by groundedreamer



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cats, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Jealousy, M/M, hajime is a softie, just them being silly friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:15:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26552686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/groundedreamer/pseuds/groundedreamer
Summary: And Tooru only finds out when he’s featured on the nightly news.The Neko Atsume AU no one asked for.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 71





	In which Iwa-chan plays real-life Neko Atsume

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously you can tell how long this has been in the works. I started writing this when neko atsume was a thing and thought it would be cute to have Iwa-chan find himself accidentally hoarding cats. I never finished it and found this recently and thought I’d finish it up. It’s not perfect, but hopefully it’s cute!

It all started with a mistake. A simple mistake, really, but a mistake nevertheless.

Hajime put his chin on his fist as he stared at the tiny mewling cat in front of him. It was mottled ginger, black, and brown with bright green eyes. Today, she brought friends. Hajime held out one curled finger for her to sniff as two other cats hesitantly stepped onto the concrete balcony. 

He sighed, grumbling a little as he pushed himself up to grab a cat food bag next to the sliding glass door. The dry food tinkled as it hit the ceramic bowl. The two new cats looked curiously at the first cat. She chirruped encouragingly and they walked forward and bent their faces down to the bowl. 

Hajime let out another sigh. He curled the tail of one of the new cats around his finger. She jumped, but let him pet her as she gnawed on the kibble. “Kame,” he said to the ginger and brown cat. She looked up at the sound of her name. Her light green eyes were curious. “If you keep bringing other cats here I’m not going to be able to feed all of you.” He gave her a stern look. “This is the last time I’m feeding them. You all can’t get too used to this.” 

Kame meowed and flicked her tail. Hajime tried not to roll his eyes. He knew that meow. It meant that she was listening, but also going to ignore everything he just said. He stood up again and opened the screen to go inside. One of the new cats, a silver-gray beauty ran over and curled around his leg, rubbing her head against his jeans. Hajime gave her a quick pet on the head and went inside.

The next time Hajime looked out his balcony window, he blinked. He reached up to rub his eyes, unsure if it was the long, sleepless night the night before, or if he had just finally lost it. There were seven or eight cats on his balcony now. Some were curled up together in a patch of sunlight. One was lazing on the handrail, blinking slowly. Two others were intently licking themselves clean.

Hajime stumbled over to the balcony door, mug of coffee clutched tightly in his hand. He yawned and rubbed at his eyes with his other hand. He clicked open the latch and slid the screen and glass doors aside. At the sound of the door opening, every single cat stopped what it was doing and stared at him. A orange tabby had its leg straight up in the air, a bit of tongue poking out. Hajime froze too, but they relaxed and he sat in a squashy chair, yawning widely again. 

Physical therapy courses were tough. He hadn’t expected to have to write as many essays as he did. This was the second night in a row that Hajime had stayed up near all night in order to finish his work. The silver-gray cat walked up to his chair. She butted his leg with her head. He reached down to scratch her head absentmindedly. 

Yawning again, Hajime took out his phone from his pajama pants pocket. He unlocked it, scrolling past notifications of new emails and messages. His thumb hovered over his messaging thread with Tooru. It had been a few days since they'd talked properly. _I wonder if he got any sleep?_ Hajime knew that if he wasn't around to bully Tooru into observing a normal human being's schedule, he would sleep two hours a night and only leave his room for volleyball practice. 

_Hajime [06:35:07]: hey dumbass_

_Dumbass [06:40:03]: Iwa-chan~~ It's been so long! So good to hear from you!! How are the kids? How's your wife??_

Hajime rolled his eyes. 

_Hajime [06:42:10]: it hasn't been that long idiot_

_Dumbass [06:42:47]: Would you even come to the funeral?? ⚰⚰⚰_

_Hajime [06:44:15]: not if you’re going to be this extra_

_Dumbass [06:45:35]: 🥶🥶🥶_

_So cold Iwa-chan_

_Hajime [06:46:24]: wanna hang out this weekend?_

_Dumbass [06:46:59]: Yeah!!!_

After setting up a place and time with Tooru, Hajime dropped his phone on the table next to him. The orange tabby, done grooming herself, walked over to Hajime and curled up at his feet. He rubbed her head with his knuckles. The air was already hot despite the early hour. Hajime felt the beginnings of sweat prickling at the edge of his hairline. He wiped his forearm across his forehead, grimacing at his already sticky skin. The six or seven cats lounging around him seemed comfortable, but he knew it would get much hotter later in the day. 

“You guys are going to need some shade,” he said. One of the cats meowed in agreement. 

Later that evening, he sat on his balcony in just a pair of gym shorts and socks. He had taken off his shirt as soon as he got home, unable to bear the fabric against his sweaty skin. The sun was low in the sky, but still warm on his back. Hajime fit together a few pieces of PVC pipe. He pushed them tight and set the rectangular frame down on the concrete. Kame and her friend, the orange tabby (who Hajime had named Sakura), were watching curiously. 

Hajime tied a piece of tarp to the top to act as shade and pushed the entire thing in a corner of their balcony. “There,” he said. “This should give you guys some cover.” He crawled underneath it experimentally. It wasn’t perfect, but it was big enough for Kame and her friends. Kame walked carefully up to Hajime. He held out his hand for her to sniff. “See,” he said. “It’s cooler under here.” She meowed and wound herself around one of the corners of the frame. 

Things escalated fairly quickly after that. Hajime lost track of how many cats came to his house now. Every time he looked outside, there was a new one. The balcony had become a sort of cat sanctuary. There were toys, large bowls of food, and even a small water fountain that Hajime had passed in the store and thought would be cute. Hajime had named each one. Some of the cats had collars, but for the most part Hajime couldn’t tell if they were just neighborhood strays or any cat in the vicinity. Hajime fed them all the same, worrying, though he wouldn’t admit it, that they might not have anything to eat otherwise. 

Hajime,” his mom asked him a few days later. “Why are there cats scratching at the door?"

“Oh, uh,” Hajime scrambled up from the floor, dropping his pencil on his textbook. “They’re probably here for me.” He stepped up next to her in front of the screen door. Kame was mewling insistently. Kumo, Sakura, and Mochi were there too. Sakura flicked her tail at the sight of him, seemingly annoyed at how long it had taken him. 

Hajime stepped onto the concrete. “What’s wrong?” he asked, crouching down. Sakura stepped aside. There was a small gray kitten lying in between them. She wasn’t moving. A jolt of horror went through Hajime, but he breathed again when he noticed her little belly moving up and down slowly. “Oh,” he said softly. He picked up the kitten very gently and held her to his chest. “I’m going to take her to the hospital,” he told them. Kame chirruped and flicked her tail. 

“Okaa-san, I’m going to the vet’s,” he called over his shoulder as he stood up. Hajime’s mother came out of the kitchen, looking surprised. 

“Why?” she asked. 

“She’s hurt,” he said, revealing the small gray kitten in his arms. His mother gasped. “I’ll be back later. Can I borrow the car? I don’t want to take the train.” She nodded and gave him the keys. 

Hajime held the tiny kitten gently in his lap as he drove to the nearest animal clinic. He ran a red light in his haste and pulled into the first parking space in the street. “Hi,” he said to the receptionist behind the front desk. “I found this cat. She’s hurt.” 

“Oh, my,” the receptionist said. She got up and hurried through a door to the back. A moment later, another woman in green medical scrubs followed her back out.

“What happened?” she asked. Her eyes were narrowed as she took in the kitten in Hajime’s arms. 

“I don’t know,” he said. “My other cats brought her to me, but I think she’s hurt.” The woman in scrubs nodded and walked around the desk to take the kitten from Hajime. She mewled feebly. 

“You’ll need to fill out some forms, but I’ll take her to the back,” she said. Hajime nodded. The kitten had just opened her eyes. Her yellow eyes were dazed. Hajime felt his heart squeeze. He held out a hand to stroke her head with his finger. The nurse smiled. “We’ll take good care of her,” she said. “I’ll come back to get you once we’ve taken a look.”

Hajime sat heavily in one of the old waiting room chairs. He was scribbling on a clipboard when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Hajime took it out and unlocked it.

_Dumbass [16:04:00]: What u doin??_

_Hajime [16:05:07]: at the doctors_

He had just sent the text when his cellphone immediately vibrated. The stupid picture Tooru had taken of himself filled the screen. Hajime sighed, slid his thumb across the screen and answered the call. 

“Iwa-chan?” Tooru’s worried voice sounded in his ear. “What happened? Why are you at the doctor's?”

He sighed. “I’m okay, Oikawa. Sorry, I should have said I’m at the vet’s.” 

“Oh,” Tooru let out a small breath. Then he said, a sly smile in his voice, “They finally found the right place for you then?” 

Hajime rolled his eyes. “I found a sick cat,” he said. “I just wanted to make sure she’s okay.” 

“Ohhh, Iwa-chan, so kind, so caring. Such a sweetheart,” Tooru cooed. Hajime laughed. It had been so long since he’d heard Tooru’s voice. Their plans for the last weekend had fallen through after one of Tooru’s practices was rescheduled. Hajime wouldn’t admit it to his face, but he missed Tooru. Going from having Tooru hang off his elbow and annoy him constantly, to seeing him maybe once a month, had been a tough transition. 

The nurse opened the door to the clinic and motioned for Hajime to come in. He nodded. “Hey,” he said. “I’ve got to go. They just called me in.” 

“Oh,” Tooru said. “Okay, well call me later, okay?”

“I will.” 

“You better!”

“Yeah, I will.” Hajime was smiling now. He hung up and followed the nurse into the clinic. 

"She'll be alright," the vet said. He explained to Hajime that she was dehydrated and malnourished. He gave him a list of things to do to take care of her and advised that he come back to see him in a few weeks for a follow-up. Hajime sighed in relief and picked up the small kitten again in one hand and a bag of things from the vet's office in another. 

After the treatment at the clinic, the gray kitten perked up a little bit. She had her eyes open now at least, looking curiously at everything around her. Hajime felt a great swell of tenderness as he saw how small and scruffy she really was. He set her down with the other cats when he got home. Kame, Sakura, and Mochi were still waiting for him. They sniffed the kitten when Hajime stepped back. Seemingly satisfied with her condition, Sakura meowed approvingly and rubbed herself against Hajime's jeans.

"I'm going to take her inside," he told them. "I don't think she should be going wherever you guys go." He let her play with them for a little bit before picking her up and carrying her into his room. He put her down on the bed as he grabbed some of his textbooks and lay down next to her. She walked around the place between him and the wall curiously and after satisfying himself that she wasn't about to run away or fall off the bed, Hajime turned toward his homework. 

He didn't remember falling asleep, but when he opened his eyes again, there was gray fur obscuring his vision. He blinked again and realized that the kitten had fallen asleep on his chest. Hajime let his head fall back on the pillow. He didn't want to disturb her if she was sleeping. He felt around for his phone in the blankets. He held it over his face, hoping it wouldn’t slip and smack him in the face. There were a few new messages from Hanamaki and Matsukawa. Ten of his sixteen messages were from Tooru. 

The first few were just random texts from Tooru throughout the day, but the last few made Hajime's cheeks heat up. There was a picture of him and the new kitten sleeping together. 

_Hajime [18:40:12]: where did u get that???_

_Dumbass [18:47:42]: Your mom sent it to me._

_Hajime [18:48:15]: why are u texting my mom_

_Dumbass [18:50:08]: Michiko and I are friends._

_Hajime [18:51:03]: don't call her by her first name!!!_

_Dumbass [18:52:57]: Send me a picture of you and the cat._

Hajime scowled at Tooru's evasion of his last text, but he complied. He raised the phone high over his head and tapped on the screen. It was a nice picture of the kitten curled up on his chest. She made a perfect spiral of gray fur. Her head was hidden by her paws. Hajime sent it to Tooru.

_Dumbass [18:56:23]: I said you and the cat._

Hajime rolled his eyes, but adjusted the angle so he could see the top of her head and ears and his face. He looked tired. His hair was a mess, sticking up in odd angles all over his pillow. The blanket was bunched up around his chin. Hajime tried to fix his hair, but gave up. He tapped his phone again and sent the picture to Tooru.

_Dumbass [18:58:14]: Nvm, I shouldn't have asked._

Hajime laughed despite himself. He called Tooru this time. "You're such an asshole," he said when Tooru picked up. 

"I try to stay honest, Iwa-chan." 

"You're the worst." 

"I’m sorry, I think you mean, I’m the _best_." 

They were both quiet for a moment and then Tooru asked "What's her name?"

"Uhh, I didn't name her yet." 

"What?" Tooru said, sounding aghast. "You have to name her! Do you know how important names are? She won't know who she is otherwise." 

"What are you talking about? She's a cat." 

"A nameless cat, lost in the oblivion of space and time until you call her by her name." 

Hajime sighed. He thought for a moment about what would get the best reaction out of Tooru. "Hmm, what about Jar Jar Binks? Binky for her nickname." 

Tooru made an outraged sound. Hajime had to hold the phone away so he wouldn't hear him laughing. When he put it back up to his ear, Tooru was in full flow about the inadequacies and pitfalls of the Star Wars prequel movies. 

"I'm kidding," he finally said when Tooru took a breath. He tapped his chin thinking. "Mm, how about Gray?" 

Tooru snorted. "Amazing, Iwa-chan. The depth and breadth of your mind is incredible." 

"She's my cat," he said calmly. "I can name her what I want." He wasn't about to tell Tooru that he had been thinking about the aliens that Tooru had on most of his pajamas. 

"When are we going to hang out?" Tooru asked.

“I’m free this weekend,” Hajime said.

“Okay, I want ice-cream, you’re buying!” Tooru said this very fast and hung up. Hajime looked at the dark screen on his phone for a moment before letting it fall on the bed and closed his eyes. 

Hajime stared at his empty wallet as Tooru whined next to him

“Iwa-chan’s spending all his money on his new girlfriend.”

“Shut up, idiot, when would I even have time to get a girlfriend?” His face was red as he passed over his credit card to the cashier behind the counter. She returned his card with a triple scoop ice-cream cone and an unnecessary smirk on her face.

They continued to walk down the street. Tooru licked at his ice-cream happily, pacified for now. It was a sunny, but chilly day. Summer was starting to turn into fall. Hajime’s mind distantly drifted to the cats and how he’d keep them warm in the winter. Tooru was making indecent noises next to him. 

“Shut up,” Hajime hissed. “You’re not in a porno. People are staring.” 

“Iwa-chan wasn’t paying attention to me,” Tooru said, pouting. “He was too busy thinking about his new girlfriend.” Hajime scowled at him and tried to make a swipe for the ice-cream. Tooru squawked and ran a few steps away out of reach.

“Give me some,” Hajime said. “You don’t need that much.”

“I’m a growing boy.” Tooru made a face and practically ate an entire scoop in an effort to keep it to himself. His cheeks were bulging and he had ice-cream all around his mouth and some on his nose. He looked truly awful. Hajime started running towards him, thoroughly irritated. 

“I paid for it, let me have some.”

“No!”

They ran down the street back towards Hajime’s house, Tooru laughing wildly and Hajime grinning, though he’d never admit it. 

Everything seemed to be going well until his parents sat him down one night with serious expressions on their faces. 

“Hajime-chan,” his mother said. Hajime’s eyes narrowed. She never used his nickname unless she was trying to soften some kind blow. Like the time Tooru and the rest of the Seijou team had broken his treasured limited-edition Godzilla figurine while trying to set up his room for a surprise party.

“We’re concerned about you son,” his father said.

“Is there something going on that we should know about?” His mother’s face was worried, the lines around her eyes were deep.

“What do you mean?” Hajime asked.

“Well,” his father started. He shifted uncomfortably on the couch. He glanced at his wife.

His mother reached out to put her hand on his knee. “It’s just, all the cats, Hajime-chan. Is there something going on?”

“What? The cats?” Hajime asked, dumbfounded. His mother’s lips came together in a thin line and she pointed out the balcony door outside. There were at least fifteen cats in various stages of relaxation. Hajime could see the water fountain bubbling happily and the small toys he had tied to the railing that they could play with if they got bored.

“It’s a little too many...don’t you think?” his mother said tentatively.

“We thought it was nice at first,” his father said. “But we're worried son.” He didn’t have to say the rest.

“I’m not crazy,” Hajime said. “I don’t know why they’re all here, but I just put out a couple things for them. They’re strays, who knows if they get to eat anywhere else?”

“Actually, that one—“ his mother pointed to an extremely fat striped cat balancing on the railing. “That one is Fujimoto-san’s cat from next door. He complained to us today that he never comes home now.”

“Riko-chan?” Hajime heard it without his parents having to say anything. “Oh,” he said, looking down at his hands.

“It’s okay,” his mother said, putting her hand on his cheek. “We know you’re a sweet boy with a big heart. It’s just that—“

“Yeah, I get it,” Hajime said. He was still looking at his hands.

“Sorry, Hajime-chan,” his mother said softly. She stood up. His father patted his shoulder on his way out of the living room. Hajime sighed. He looked outside again. Kame was there, looking at him with her big green eyes. He walked outside to sit on the floor. She walked over to him and curled up in his lap. Hajime scratched her behind the ears.

It was harder than he thought, getting rid of the twenty or thirty cats that had made themselves at home. He took down the fountain and replaced it with a plain dish. The toys and scratching posts were gone. He dumped the cushions and cat-sized chairs in the garbage behind their house. He left up the cat shade. It was still pretty hot in the afternoons after all. 

  
  


Tooru was sitting on the couch, gnawing on his fingernails, eyes on the TV screen in front of him.

_Local Man Found With 35 Cats_

Tooru squinted at the television screen as he reread the headline. The red banner was running across grainy video footage of someone’s backyard. Prowling across nearly every inch of the tiny space were cats. Stuffed to the brim in the small space, it seemed like hundreds instead. Tooru snorted and leaned back into the couch, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. _Good to know he wasn’t living near_ that _weirdo._ As a slightly terrified news anchor stood in front of the pandemonium, Tooru chewed on his fingernails absentmindedly. His mind was already drifting to the game yesterday when he recognized a small, misshapen green blob right behind a ginger tabby. He sat up and peered closer at the television screen. It looked awfully similar to a homemade alien he had given Hajime to put in his garden as a scarecrow. And that wasn’t the only thing he recognized: beat-up old chairs, a wind chime hanging from the roof, Tooru’s precious herbs lined up neatly in their customized pots. Tooru almost recoiled in horror when Hajime stepped into the frame.

“Uh—um.” Hajime looked uncomfortable. He shifted from foot to foot, eyes darting from the camera to somewhere beyond it. “My name is Iwaizumi Hajime. As you can see,” he said. “I have a lot of cats. We are looking for homes for them.” He bent down to pick up a gray cat with white boots. “This is Mochi. She’s two years old, likes jumping off things, and is very adventurous.” Tooru was torn between laughing and cooing. Hajime looked so cute as he rambled out a small biography for each cat, his face never losing its stony, grumpy expression which Tooru knew just meant that he was nervous. He snapped a quick picture and posted it to their group chat, followed by an indecent amount of exclamation points. 

Tooru wheezed with laughter over the phone. “I knew about Gray, but I didn’t know about the other cats.

Hajime just growled. His face was red with embarrassment. The newscaster had just left his house with all of their equipment. Hajime’s mother was waving to them from the front door. Tooru laughed so hard, he started choking.

“Good, die,” Hajime said. His hand tightened on the phone.

“Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, are you _purr_ -haps embarking on a new journey? Is this the origin story of Iwaizumi Hajime, Cat Man of Miyagi?” 

“Tooru,” Hajime growled. Tooru took a few deep breaths. 

“I’m sorry Iwa-chan, I was just... _kitten_ around.” He burst into laughter again. Hajime hung up.

Tooru never let him live it down. Years later when they had moved into their own apartment, Tooru had unwrapped a package with a flourish. Hajime didn’t pay too much attention as he was struggling with a heavy box that Tooru hadn’t bothered to help him with. Tooru placed the picture frame on the mantle. 

“Perfect,” he said and stepped back to put his hands on his hips and admire his work. Hajime put down the box with a grunt and walked over to stand next to Tooru. He smacked him on the back of the head. “Oww, Iwa-chan, what was that for?”

“Why are you putting that up?” Hajime asked angrily. It was a grainy photo of the newscast from the Great Cat Debacle. Tooru had enlarged and framed it.

“It’s my favorite picture of you,” Tooru said, still rubbing the back of his head. “You're so cute. I just wanted to remember it forever. What’s wrong with that?” Hajime turned away, grumbling. He didn’t say anything else, but left it up, even when Tooru insisted on telling the story to each new guest, gesturing to it like a museum curator. Hajime would stay sitting on the couch, Kame and Gray in his lap, rolling his eyes with fond exasperation.


End file.
